Inside: Kon Tiki

Kon Tiki regulars Amanda and Jessica share a Scorpion, sans goldfish. (Credit: Stephen Rosanelli/Special to Metromix)

Kon Tiki carves its unique niche on the Tucson landscape by doing one thing, and doing it well: Serving drinks that will knock you on your keister faster than you can say "Another Scorpion, please!"

The drink menu at this Polynesian bar and restaurant (that's another story, but you might try the Monkey on a Stick appetizer) is about three pages long, with drinks such as Navy Grog, Zombie and Lights Out. As far as I can tell, though, they really only serve one drink. Sometimes they put cream in it, and it might be a different color, but either way you can count on canceling any plans you might have had for the next day, and calling in to work.

The décor further adds to the intoxicating effect of the whole experience. Fleshing out the island motif is bamboo furniture and coconuts as well as a giant terrarium that sits behind the bar and houses a live komodo dragon. (Though, to be fair, I've only actually seen the dragon after drinking several Mai Tais.)

The drink prices are comparable to what you'd pay elsewhere for mixed drinks, with one notable exception: They are about five times stronger than anywhere else in Tucson. I'm no bartender, but the drinks appear to be a concoction of whatever hard alcohol happens to be lying around, and maybe some food coloring. While other places might use mixers, Kon Tiki simply uses more liquor. Example: when you order a Rum and Coke, I'm pretty sure they serve you a Rum and Jack and Coke.

Common mistakes at Kon Tiki include the following: 1) ordering more than two drinks and 2) then trying to do anything else. You won't be able to. Especially if you ordered The Scorpion, which is Kon Tiki's version of what might otherwise function as a half-gallon fishbowl. Except they fill it with alcohol and only include the goldfish if you ask for it. Bottoms up!

Add a comment